🔗 Share this article

This period represents a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” hit the public consciousness. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop all contact with a lover without a word seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, finding a partner has only become more perplexing – an commonly pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever imagine. And so their romantic lexicon has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

Below is a comprehensive guide to the words gen Z is using to discuss love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

---

A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, dating’s gold standard is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon inspired by a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is engaged or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while radiating mystery and independence. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Support test – This means choosing someone who aids you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people connect while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do budget-friendly dating in a inflation-era world.

Emotional spiral – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie excess, it describes pairs who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of acting aloof: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Personal quirks signaling a potential partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a burgeoning DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks validate your choice to date a partner. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of silence.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The rare boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of attraction.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {